Right Now

Lately I’ve been more vocal about therapy and how much it has helped me and continues to help me. One of the things that my therapist is great at is asking me questions I never asked myself, and as a girl who does not find it strange to have one on one conversations with yourself, I ask me a lot of questions! LOL 


Anywho, a couple of weeks ago I was sharing some life updates with my therapist and some situations that occurred and she asked me to pause and take a moment to realize my growth. She pointed out the change she could physically see on me, the changes in my speech, and the change in my thought process. Y’all it didn’t hit me right then, but it hit me later while journaling the other night, just how much I have changed from who I was even a few months ago. Before my session ended she asked me this question: “What do you call this part of your life you’re in?” She instructed me to reflect on where I am, and where I’ve come from, and to give this moment a name. Doesn’t she ask great questions?!


Well, I’ve been pondering that question for a little while now and just yesterday I found the perfect name for where I am right now; Revision. 


I feel I am currently in a moment of revision in my life. When I think about revision I think about all those papers I’ve written over the years and all the revisions I’ve made to them and all the times my instructors asked us to do peer revisions. I took that job very seriously, because in my mind if a 100% is a possibility, than that’s what you aim for! So given the opportunity to help a classmate get an A+ I had to revise with precision. Fun fact: In upcoming sessions we will be walking through my perfectionism I deal with in therapy! Ha! 


Back to revising…I would read the whole paper first, then go section by section and make necessary changes to better help the flow and to ensure the task was met and complete. I would then re-read the paper to make sure I didn’t miss anything. I feel like that’s what I’m doing now. 


In therapy there is a lot of going back to help your life now and set you up for an even better life tomorrow. Y’all your girl has been putting in that hard work of checking what’s underneath all the bandages and seeing what wounds I’m healed from, which ones need to get some air on them, and which wounds are still very much open. 


When you make revisions on a project of any kind, you revise to get the project up to the intended standard. All this mental health work has been allowing me to see more of myself. More of the me I kept hidden and protected. The revisions are revealing what needs to go and what must stay. For example, I’ve gotten rid of needing the approval of others and I’m keeping my nerdy, quirky self! 


Before I go I want to share the definition of Revision with you, because this girl loves reading the dictionary!


Revision-To re-examine and make alterations, reconsider and amend something, especially in the light of further evidence or to reflect a changed situation, to make corrections, to improve one’s knowledge of a subject, to look again.


Right now I’m in the space of re-examining my life and making alterations and corrections. I’ve been reconsidering my past and amending the broken pieces, because God has been showing me evidence of His presence throughout my life and currently. All this self work has caused me to get to know myself again, and as I look again at who I am, I am discovering I like me, I love me, I support me, and I accept me. Loving this place of Revision. There is so much goodness ahead and I am so grateful that God is in control of it all!


Now, you may have wondered or maybe not until now, why did I choose the photo of the sign to go with this blog….Well I took that photo while on a girls trip with my sisters and it caused me to pause and I just soaked up that moment right there in the parking lot in the cold wind of Lancaster, PA. During this season of my life I’m just moving slow and stopping to soak up every moment, understanding that God’s timing is always perfect and to cherish our Now!


Love,
Vyse ❤️