 There I was, participating in my daily Instagram scroll, (seems all my interview ideas start this way) and I saw a video begin to play. I noticed the name of the uploader, and I was immediately intrigued. The video shows a woman speaking through pain while in depression. She looks frail and begins to cry. To some her words may seem to be random, or scrambling, but to me, it was just a regular Tuesday. I have recently began to share with people that I have battled depression and anxiety, and that day I saw myself in Jacqueline Horbrook, aka Jackie The Educator. She mentioned in her post that her counselor instructed her to create video diaries, and that she wanted people to see that who she is today is a testimony of a story. I reached out to Jackie, because I wanted to share with you all that on social media many see the results, but don't know the struggles, challenges, and steps behind it.
“We all experience lows and highs in our lives, most of our highs are caught on camera, while our lows are dealt with, or left unaddressed, in secret”. - Jackie The Educator’s Instagram Video Post I came back to social media to be a light in people’s lives who were living through dark spaces, and feeling ashamed to share and reach out. I loved seeing Jackie’s transparency, it was her way of telling her following, I may inspire you, but you need to know I’m inspired by God, who is the lifter of my head, and He can lift yours too! She gave hope and encouragement that day. It was her second time posting the video and she mentioned it was much easier to share than the first time she posted it. This is what she had to say about the first time she posted the video: “I was nervous to see others reaction to my story. I didn't want to be perceived as weak or inadequate. I actually posted it then took it down and then reposted it. Finally I just walked away from my phone and let whatever happened, happen.” Jackie stated that seeing how many people were blessed by her vulnerability made her cry tears of joy. People, including myself, view Jackie The Educator as one who has it all together, and she said it was important to show people the road that brought her to today, and she was glad it served as an inspiration. Jackie said she learned a great lesson from her faith move. “I realized that the enemy uses shame and guilt to stifle our testimonies. I believe God wanted me to see first hand that sharing my testimony didn't make me appear weaker, but stronger”. I am honored Jackie was so open about her life and the things that helped shape her. She told me about the events that led up to her seeking counseling. Her ex-husband and her were beginning to drift apart. In marriage counseling they learned he was dealing with trauma from war, and it was affecting his ability to take on the role of a husband and father. "As a medic in the Army for more than 18 years he had seen a lot of war. We came to find out that the war caused more trauma than we knew. After several hospitalizations we realized it would be better for him to live elsewhere for the well being of our children”. Jackie then began to seek individual counseling where she realized the trauma her ex-husband had endured, inadvertently affected her as well. She began her journey to gaining a closer relationship with Christ and is a walking testimony before us. “Today I am healed from that trauma, and have moved forward with my life. Although my ex-husband and I could not salvage a relationship, I am thankful that I lived to tell my story”. Living life now as a single mother, Jackie is balancing mommy life and business life. She stated that she takes it one day at a time, and as moms we must be flexible and be able to respond to change quickly. Her daughters are so adorable, and they are one of Jackie’s main driving force. “My daughters are my reason for pushing myself to new levels. They watch everything I do, and often try to imitate my actions. If I want them to be their greatest, I have to first show them the way”. I was curious what young Jackie was like. She was often the kid wanting to organize and teach others. Jackie was the boss lady even as a child. “I often found myself in leadership roles, I was even bold enough to run against a boy for student body president in 6th grade. I didn't win, but he eventually became my first boyfriend so in theory I kind of did”. Boss moves! Ha! Jackie also informed me her first career choice as a child was journalism, and she wanted to become a news anchor. We would have so been childhood friends. I could see us getting the inside scoop on what was in school lunch and sharing with our peers. In high school Jackie was well known for being a State Championship Speech and Drama student. As time went on, her focus shifted to working behind the scenes. “I let intimidation get the best of me and decided I wanted to be the creative genius behind TV commercials (I was inspired by Gina from the show Martin). I eventually landed in education where I found the satisfaction of everything I ever wanted to do”. Jackie has a Masters in Counseling & College Student Development, with a Bachelors degree in Business & Marketing. She does wonderful programs and classes for our youth. I asked her what lessons she felt our youth of today are in need of beyond reading and mathematics, and she responded; critical thinking skills. With me being a homeschooling mother, I thought what she said next was such a gem: “As a mom and teacher I focus less on learning techniques and more on developing strategies. At the end of the day they probably won't use the quadratic equation as much as they would need to know how to prioritize processes. It all boils down to the old parable; If we can teach our children how to fish vs. handing them the fish directly, they'll never go hungry”. As a Black, Christian, Woman in Corporate America, Jackie has seen the reality of prejudices in the work place. She refuses to let it block or stumble her on her path to being one who ministers, teaches, and promotes change. “At an early age I recognized that my color and faith were barriers to overcome. But having my womanhood as a barrier always frustrated me. I could be just as smart and gifted as a Male, but my sex would always be another barrier. I quickly learned to use it to my advantage, as most women in corporate America do”. Jackie has founded Black Christian Influencers (BCI), Inc. It serves as not only a platform, but a community that supports those desiring to make a positive impact in their communities. Come on, you see why I had to talk with her, right?! This is the kind of kingdom business I enjoy and must support! Jackie also has a show on ArtSoul Radio called Higher Learning. While in search for ways to gather an audience for her show she created a web space that connected the people she set out to teach and learn from. “I wanted to appeal to the Christian Intellectual, as well as the ministry focused leader. I started by connecting a few of my friends from different circles into a small Facebook group, and after a few weeks I noticed it was really becoming a hit, so I ran with it, and here we are. I would love to take credit but it's clearly a God ordained initiative”. Along with being the founder of BCI, Jackie also has a plan to open a Counseling Cafe. Read that sentence again…. A Counseling Cafe. The cafe will be a safe space for individuals that need to seek mental health treatment. Are you smiling as hard as me right now? This is a project I am so excited for. The location will be in Chicago and Jackie shared with me that construction is projected to start within a few weeks! “This is my ultimate pride and joy. I love being innovative and I think this space will be a game changer……I absolutely would love to open more locations, especially in the non traditional neighborhoods that could really use unique spaces like this as an outlet”. I’m just gonna put in the atmosphere that her next two locations are DC and FL! It matters not that those just so happen to be the two places I call home… On the real, knowing these communities, it will be such a great addition and serve a grand purpose in so many lives. As this posts comes to an end I want to say thank you to Jacqueline Horbrook aka Jackie The Educator, for taking time to share with me, not only more about who she is, but what she is about. She dropped knowledge and shared her truth. I want all my readers to go to her social pages and websites and learn more about the great impact she is having in our world. Jackie seeks to be a voice for the millennial Christian, and I must say she is a voice that all could learn from. Vyse❤️ Jackie The Educator Website: https://www.jackietheeducator.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jackietheeducator/ Black Christian Influencers Website: https://www.blackchristianinfluencers.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackchristianinfluencers
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 While doing my daily Instagram strolling I saw in bold letters, YOU CAN BE USED BY GOD AND GAY. It caused me to stop, pause, and think. In that moment I realized how many years I spent not acknowledging that, to be true. In that time of reflection I began to see how my thoughts and feelings about homosexuality had evolved, changed, and matured. The saying goes, When you know better, you do better. That same night I entered into dialogue with my husband about that subject matter, and for the first time in years, I heard a shift in his thinking as well. Later that night I began walking and speaking with God. We talked about the tug I was feeling in my heart to reach out to those in the LGBTQ+ community and learn how to show love, minister, and serve them. Clear as day God instructed me to reach out to the woman who posted the statement and request to interview her. I was so elated she responded with a yes, and I am excited to share with you our conversation.
SdotNoeL is a multitalented woman of God who started her life in the inner city of Los Angeles. She grew up in the COGIC Church, and when her family and peers learned she was lesbian, not everyone was accepting and ready to show her the love and support she needed. SdotNoeL states she was born gay and was always aware of who she was at a young age. She first expressed her feelings to her Aunt when she was 10 years old. “I confided with my Aunt at the time; whom I felt really comfortable with….I came out to her, and she really became an advocate for me”. Two years later her mother and other family members found out, and SdotNoeL was kicked out of her home at the age of 13. “These ideas being put into my head about myself..I’d never be loved..God would never except me…These were coming out of my families mouth”. SdotNoeL then entered into a time of depression. She continued to attend her Uncle’s mega church, experiencing being singled out from the pulpit. Even though many showed disapproval of her sexual orientation, she was still called upon to minister over the praise team. “Having gone through all of that, but still being called on in church. Still being praise and worship leader. Still being used. Still being effective in peoples lives, because of what I’ve been through. Still being able to be a vessel”. Faith is SdotNoeL’s driving force for everything she does, but there was a time she had a disconnect with God. “I went through my cognitive dissonance. I went through the periods of time where I felt like I hated God because of what I had to go through…..but that was all a part of the purpose……God’s will for my life is to show people that through pain, and through judgment, does come a purpose”. Although SdotNoeL’s family said many hurtful things in the past, they have had a turning point in their relationship with her. The relationship she has with her mother went from not speaking for about five years after she was kicked out, to now being able to call on her mother for strength and conversation. “I can talk to her(Mother) about girlfriends…..The day I was getting a lot of church people come over(to her social media page), they were saying a lot of really harsh things. I just had to call her…I was like Mom, people are saying some really harsh things…She was just like, that’s unfortunate. You just keep doing what you’re doing, because God is using you”. In our interview I also asked some personal questions I had about gay culture that I always wanted to hear answers to. One question that I was always curious about, was how a gay person interprets the scriptures that say homosexuality is an abomination unto God. SdotNoeL shared her personal views. “I would never lay with a man the way I lay with a woman…..I’m not a heterosexual, so I don’t know what it takes to be in a heterosexual relationship…..I’m not redefining the relationship of male and female, by laying with a woman…..We’re not trying to become like heterosexual relationships…..So when I read that word, that doesn’t mean to me that I should not be laying with a woman period. That means to me, that I am not going to assume the role of a man…..That concept, that idea is so hard to sink through in the realm of Christianity”. We both understood that change does not happen over night and what gets to you first is what you believe. I believe the word of God is infallible and I believe we all must search the scriptures and seek out truth. The amazing thing about being human is, truth looks different from the perspective and background of the viewer. While we talked scriptures, I agreed with many things SdotNoeL stated, some things I will be studying, and others I currently disagree. She talked about what its like for many gays to sit in church, and it hit my heart hard y’all. I want all people, from all walks of life to be able to freely worship in church, without fear, and in the presence of love. “Which is why homosexuality in the confines of a church does not work for us. It’s degradation. I’m suffering If I’m staying in a church that does not understand my concept. That doesn’t understand my ideas and beliefs”. SdotNoeL then made a great analogy likening gays and church people as warehouse workers who look the same, but in speaking find out they are different. “You’ll have two choices. You can except them for their difference, or you can judge them for their difference. The moment that you start stepping over into judging them for their difference, you’re taking yourself out of the understanding game”. As we began to talk about the misconceptions about gays in the Christian worldview we found that communication is key to understanding. SdotNoel said that no question was off limits before we started the interview, and spoke her truth throughout the interview; making me laugh and think throughout. I came to the interview with a list of questions, but as soon as we began to talk, the interview became a conversation of curiosity and courage. We all must understand in life we may differ in thought in some areas, but we must all show kindness, respect, and love. I enjoyed our conversation so much and I know and hope it ruffles many feathers, because these conversations are simply not happening and they need to be! Currently you can find SdotNoeL sharing her gifts with the world all to the glory of God. She is a singer, song writer, background vocalist, mixer, editor, actress, comedian, event host, and I’ll add, a missionary! I want to say thank you to SdotNoeL; Thank you for opening my eyes, pulling on my ears, shaking up my thoughts, and hearing my heart. God bless you! For any young girls that are going through depression and anxiety, or contemplating coming out to their family about anything because of fear, I want to say know that God loves you, I love you, and I want you to read these words SdotNoeL stated she would say to her younger self that was going through depression and anxiety: “….That is the beginning of the rose blossoming through the concrete….Those feelings of anxiety are showing you that there is room that needs to be made, on the other side of it, because any time that you feel anxiety young lady, on the other side of that is nothing but pure joy for you. And if you could just make it through the thoughts that are there in you, which are self-conscious beliefs; and if you could get a hold of those beliefs and turn them into something that you actually desire and actually want, you’ll be just fine”. The conversation we had, was so good and necessary. There is so much more that we discussed and I want you and everyone you know to hear the full conversation so click the link below to hear the interview and share everywhere! https://youtu.be/w5S_Ch9TMU0 Vyse ❤️ |
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