As I sit here listening to my Lisa McClendon Pandora Station, which y’all need to hop on and thank me later… I sit reflecting on the year. I would say the last about 3 years have been some of the toughest years in my adult life. I lost many family members that I wish I had more time with. I had women I called sister treat me like a stranger who stole from them. I had people I trusted with my love kick me while I was down. I spent most of all last year feeling like a single mom while my husband traveled for work every other week. The depression I thought I was done with decided to make a surprise visit and brought a plus one called anxiety with it. Let’s just say, with the amount of things that happened over the past few years, and even this year alone, I could have written an award winning drama series!
Over the past few weeks I’ve just been reflecting, searching, learning, and asking God every question. Who should I share this with? What was I supposed to learn? Where do I go from here? When did this issue start? Why did I go through that? How do I move forward? Y’all ya girl had questions and a note pad ready!
I began being more diligent in my reading of the Word. Not just quick reference reading, but slow reading; Putting myself in the stories of the Old Testament and seeking God for revelation. Let me tell you what I learned: Yielding. Taking a pause to reiterate to yourself that God is smarter than you 😳
I can’t tell you how many times I have to remind myself of that! I became so caught up and bound by all that I felt was happening “to me” not realizing it was happening “for me”. As a planner, I kept trying to come up with the perfect plans for life and success. I wanted to plan my way out of my pain. I wanted to make plans to ensure everything was gonna be ok. Then God said, “Would you rather live the life you’ve planned, or trust my plan?” Yielding.
God is the Master Planner. He knows our beginning to end. He is our Father who loves us and sees more in us than we can see ourselves. God has interrupted my plans before in life. When I planned on being happily single, He let my husband walk into my life. When I planned on adopting because I thought I could not have children, He blessed my womb three times. When I planned on giving up, He gave me reasons to live. God constantly changes “my plans” and not once did it turn out bad.
I’m at the point in my life where all I want is to please God. If He isn’t in it, I don’t want it. If He calls me to it, I know I can do it. So how do we please God? Faith, without faith it is impossible to please God. How do we show faith? Yielding, allowing God’s plan to become yours. I’m gonna tell you straight up, I have not a one clue all that God has planned for my life, but I look at the future with a smile because I know one day I’ll see my why.