My boys are so great at math. My 4 year old can do addition with numbers 1-20 and understands how adding 100s work, my 6 year old loves telling you a square root of a number and can do long equations in his head, and my 8 year old already knows how to find missing variables in an algebraic equation!
The other day I was in my room getting myself organized for the day. I overheard my boys playing and just sat and marveled at what I was hearing. They were playing some sort of game that involved doing various math equations. They were so quick with their answers and the numbers kept getting higher and higher, with the equations becoming more and more difficult. It was a proud mama moment. I then heard my 6 year old say with such speed and no hesitation, “Because 64 + 64 = 128”. In that moment I thought about how excellent my sons are in math. Then mom guilt kicked in along with teacher guilt on how reading is not their strongest subject right now. I then said to myself, “Well, I’ll just have to help them become strong where they are weak”.
At that moment Holy Spirit straight stopped me in my tracks and had me repeat that statement to myself. “I’ll just have to help them become strong where they are weak”. Holy Spirit then revealed that’s exactly what God does for us. He helps us become strong where we are weak.
Recently I’ve been in a faith fight and honestly struggling a lil bit with it. I get frustrated when my faith seems to be higher in the doubts that it is in the hopes.
In that moment I began a dialogue with God on all the things I have struggled with through the years and how those moments were the times He was working to help me become strong where I was weak. With each reference point I felt my faith begin to be built stronger and stronger. I needed that time to pause and remember all the storms I had been through, and how much stronger I came out on the other side.
I want to share with you today, we may not be the best at everything, and we will have areas of struggle from time to time; but count it joy because those same areas you feel you are weak in, will one day serve as a testimony of how far you’ve grown and became stronger!
Now know just like with my boys and their reading, repetition is key to learning, and so, you may face challenges more than once. Don’t fret because you feel like you’re there again, see it as God using repetition to strengthen you in that area. You will learn, and you will become strong where you are weak.
A few weeks ago I was sitting in the house like most of us, due to the pandemic, and I was simply put, bored! I had the little kid pouty face thinking, Ugh I’m so bored, I need to get some sunshine and do something. Later that day I went to go play in our pool with the boys and had such a great time. While in the pool I realized how boredom is a blessing! As I leaned on a pool noodle staring up at the beautiful magnolia trees in our backyard I almost cried, ok one tear slipped out, but no one saw lol. I thought about my life and all the things I endured over the years. I thought about all the many challenges the world has faced during the pandemic, and there I was, safe at my home, bored. I was healthy, blessed, and happy. I became so happy with boredom.
Growing up we were not allowed to say we were bored. From my generation and before, if a child said they was bored, it became an open invitation for parents to request said child to do chores! As an adult I’ll be honest, I give my kids the, “Oh…you’re bored? Well, how about you help Mommy clean since you have some free time!” They always end up finding something to do, ha!
As an adult I’ve had few moments of boredom, because to be bored means you have time. How many of us have ample time to spare? My husband and I always asks ourselves, how do people find time to watch all those shows? I currently have 1 show I watch faithfully every Friday night, and even so, most of the time, I end up having to watch the recording late at night.
I’m sharing all these random things to tell you, be happy when you are bored, because that means you have been blessed with time. You have been blessed to be free of worry in that moment. In that moment, you are safe. In that moment God has given you rest, and enough peace to be able to say you have nothing to do. You get to be unoccupied. Your mind has been cleared! Hallelujah!
So the next time you feel bored, thank God, and may sometime this week, you have a moment of Happy Boredom!
Yesterday morning I was sipping my tea, and was lead to read the words hanging from the end of my tea bag. The words said: Trust Creates Peace. You do realize God will speak to you through anyone and anything! I sat there with those words and my mind began to recall all the times in my life I saw that statement demonstrated, and how I needed to remember those times in that moment. In that moment, I was sipping tea to relax and put my mind at ease before my day started. There God was, saying Let Me get this word to her while she’s still and quiet.
One of the memories that I remembered were all the times my kids were hesitant to try or do something, but the moment I looked into their big brown eyes and said, “Trust me”, their worries went away and they conquered their fears.
Trust really does create peace. Peace is the absence of worry. Worry is the absence of trust. So, if you want to stop worrying and you need some peace, trust!
Here’s the thing though, who and what are you putting your trust in? Are you solely relying on people or a particular situation to be deemed perfect in your eyes to finally have peace? Peace comes from Jesus alone. You can create a peaceful environment, but to experience true peace, it can only be given from a beyond this world God. God is above all things and can help ease your mind.
Think about what you’re hoping for…
Think about what changes you’re desiring…
Think about the decisions your unsure of…
Think about the confusion you have…
Think about what is so frustrating right now…
Think about that prayer you keep praying…
God is staring right into your beautiful eyes saying, “Trust Me”.
“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength”.
Isaiah 26:3-4 (KJV)
I am speaking as someone who not only knows the above to be true, but who herself needs to remember that the above is true. Today, I want you to be encouraged and to finally see beyond your current faith fight. There is another side to what you’re believing God for, or feel like you are struggling to believe. You may be struggling to see the answers and finding it hard to see the light in the midst of the darkness around you, but I tell you: Trust in God. Fully trust.
I pray you experience total peace this week just like my Beans did the day I captured today’s blog photo. That day we were at the Beach and the waves were coming high and fast. Beans wanted to go further in the water, but would run towards the shore every time the waves would come. I watched him try and run, try and run, try and run again. As I watched him, I began to walk out into the water adjacent to him. He saw me and called out my name, “Mommy!” I walked over to him and asked, “Do you want to go further in the water?” He said, “Yes”. I then told him that I would hold his hand so he could go further. We did it once, and then for the rest of our time at the beach, whenever Beans wanted to go further he would just run up to me and hold my hand. The great thing was, without a word, his brothers started to do the same.
God has been watching you try and run, try and run, and He is right there waiting to take you where you want to go. Just call out to Him, let Him lead you, submit control, and trust. When you learn to fully trust God, it has the power to not only bring peace to your life, but it will affect the lives around you. I’ll leave you with a question I want you to sit with today…
What does fully trusting God look like in my situation?
About a month or so ago I was finishing up doing a devotional and it was in that moment, I had a moment! It was like Holy Spirit said, Let me drop this gem in ya hands.
I wrote down in my notes the key that unlocked my life to a new way of living. I want to first share with you what I wrote that day, and then expound on it further. Prepare yourself, you may just grab this key and unlock newness in your life as well!
“It just hit me that peace came to the earth at the arrival of Christ, and when Christ was about to leave the earth He said, He has given us peace. Peace is not separate from Christ, it is found in Christ. As with God, there is Love. With Christ, there is Peace, and now thinking with Holy Spirit, there is Joy. In His presence there is fullness of joy, and His presence comes by His Spirit. No wonder the first fruits of the Spirit are Love, Joy, and Peace, its who they are 🙌🏽♥️
People seek those three things the most, and they are found in God. The world will never fully experience either without relationship with the Trinity. God is Love. Jesus gave Peace. Holy Spirit fills you with Joy.
Man, people spend their life searching for those things, and if only they knew they would find it in God, they could stop the treadmill search. Running and going nowhere!”
Did you grab the key? I hope you did. I hope that small gem is precious to you and you hold tightly onto it, and never let it leave you. I want to dive deeper into each concept and share with you my experience with love, joy, and peace.
— God is love.
“He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.”
(1 John 4:8 KJV)
Now I usually just write scriptures within my blogs, without referencing them, but today I want you to know where these scriptures are found and I want you to study them, speak them, and apply them to your life. Listen y’all, it is time out for living life in a I’m fine state. I want you to experience life the way God intended. Surely your Creator, the One that loved you first, and the One that loves you unconditionally wants you to live an abundant life! The Word says so in John 10:10 (KJV), “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”
There are so many books out there trying to explain to us who God is, and how He operates, and how we can get closer to Him. The bible point, blank, and the period tells us, God is love. So many say how they wanna get closer to God, but forget that, He wants to be close to us. He loves us. His very being is love!
God loves you, and if you want to know how to love, how to accept love, how to experience love, and how to heal from broken love, find those answers when you seek God. When you seek Love you will find it. I know what it's like to seek love from people and come up short. I know what it's like to not fully love yourself. I know what its like to feel like no one loves you, and no one could ever truly love you the way you desire to be loved…Yeah I know I went heavy there, but I want you to get this key…God is that love you’ve been seeking. When He pours out His love on you, and you receive it, what can stand in your way? Nothing!
When you know what real love is, the love of God, you will be able to better love yourself and others. You will also be able to differentiate real love from convenient acceptance.
— Holy Spirit fills you with joy.
“Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.”
(Psalms 16:11 KJV)
This one has been my staple currently. This year I have been reminded of the important role Holy Spirit plays in our lives. It’s wild to know that many Christians have been Christian for years and years, and have not been taught on Holy Spirit, and even more so, have been going through life without acknowledging Holy Spirit! Oh, what a gift it is for God to bless us with the very same Spirit that is full of power, knowledge, and abilities.
I love how the scripture connected to joy talks about the path of life. Joy is much like a path. It is a narrow, straight path, that is in constant view of God’s presence. When you live your life by the Spirit, you will see your joy meter is always to the full!
Holy Spirit is that comforting voice that leads you to do right. He will remind you of God’s Word, He will direct you on how to navigate life, and He will comfort you when you are simply struggling. One of my favorite interactions with Holy Spirit is in prayer. There is an expression, prayer changes things. I would like to add; prayer changes things, you, and your perception. Feelings of joy has so much to do with perception. A person who has joy is not without difficulties, they are fully aware of the difficulty and they have chosen to look towards God and rest in the knowledge of His presence.
If you walked around knowing the Holy Spirit of God was not just near you, but on the inside of you, wouldn’t your pathways and life be filled with joy? When Holy Spirit reminds you of the things of God, He is comforting you and encouraging you. When you live life inside the will of God, that Holy Spirit will reveal to you, you will experience unmatched and unwavering joy.
— Jesus gave peace.
“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”
(John 14:27 KJV)
Ok here we go, Jesus! Oh how I love Him! I can’t say the name Jesus without smiling, and if I think about Him for just a little while, tears will start to make their way to my smile. Happy Tears my son calls them. Have you ever heard a kid describe Jesus? It will be the sweetest conversation you will ever have. I had the honor the other day to talk to some kids about Jesus and here are some of the words they said to describe the Lord: Cool, Superhero, The Best, Important, So Good, Awesome, and Great.
Another scripture I want to share with you about Jesus giving us His peace is John 16:33 (KJV), “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” The first time I read that scripture I was a kid. I remember thinking to myself, I can make it!
We all can agree life is not easy. You will face challenges and go through things you wish you didn’t have to endure, but be of good cheer, Jesus is with you. I love that Jesus didn’t just give us regular old peace, but He said, He was giving us His peace. Peace that surpasses all understanding. Philippians 4:7 (KJV) states, “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” The same peace that was in our Savior, that kept Him fulfilling prophesy no matter the trouble and temptations of the world that came His way, is the same peace we can experience through Christ.
With Covid-19 happening so many feel robbed of their peace. Many are unsettled and battling thoughts, emotions, and unforeseen circumstances daily. I pray you get this: That peace you are in desperate need of is found in Christ. Let hell be going on around you, and you keep your focus fixed on Jesus. Keep your mind on the things of God, and watch your mind be at peace. Isaiah 26:3 (KJV) says, “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.”
I remember doing a video years ago connecting John 10:10 to love, joy, and peace. The Word says the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I believe a way he does that is by: Stealing Love, Killing Joy, and Destroying Peace! Don’t be worried though, because the word says that God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit lives on the inside of you, so know they will fight for you, if you let them. The enemy comes to steal your love, you remind him, God is love. The enemy comes to be a kill joy, you remind him, Holy Spirit has filled you with joy. The enemy comes to destroy your peace, you remind that counterfeit that Jesus gave you peace.
Remember, the devil cannot have what God has given to you, it is up to you whether or not you give the enemy, people, or situations the love, joy, and peace God has blessed you with. Decide today, nothing, no one, no not one, can have what God has given me. I have the key, and I’m walking right into the New Life God has promised me!
“And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no more; but ye see me: because I live, ye shall live also. At that day ye shall know that I am in my Father, and ye in me, and I in you. He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him. Judas saith unto him, not Iscariot, Lord, how is it that thou wilt manifest thyself unto us, and not unto the world? Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.”
(John 14:16-23 KJV)
Hello all, I have missed you on my time off. During my time away I have been enjoying motherhood, marriage, and rediscovering who I am, and whose I am. Something wild about me is, every since I was a little girl, I could not wait to turn 30. Can you imagine a little girl literally sitting in her room daydreaming about what her life would be like when she turned 30? Wild, I know. 30 was the magical year, I would think to myself. I was always, little Miss Grown, and I stayed listening to older women speak, and watching talk shows and panel discussions on TV. I remember one day watching a show and hearing women talk about turning 30. They made it sound so great and I knew my good side of life would start at 30 just like those women.
On the show the women said at age 30 there was this light bulb moment they experienced. They went on to say the thoughts and troubles they faced in their twenties, and how when they turned 30, they had learned a better way to deal with life’s hardships, thoughts, and emotions. Little Me thought when I turned 30, that would be it, life would somehow do a total shift and everything would be perfect! Well, I turned 30 in June, and well… no my life is not perfect. I know, shocker!
Although my life is not perfect, it is perfect for me. I’ve been on this road to better mental health the last few years, and God has been consistently taking me by the hand and walking me through the years of my life and showing me how He has been there at every stage.
I thought it would be great to share with you all some of my top life lesson’s I’ve learned in my 30 years of living. Tehehe, wow 30, that’s like official grown up age, lol.
With being hurt… Isn’t it something, that no matter your background, status, or culture, if you ask an adult if they have ever experienced hurt, they will have a story to tell. Whether you have been hurt in your past, or recently experienced hurt, those wounds left untended to, can still bleed out into your life. You’ll live your life, make decisions, enter relationships, and have thought patterns all based off the hurt you experienced. Some wounds that haven’t fully healed can still cause pain. It has been said that most of us have been hurt by people we love deeply, because if we didn’t love them so much, it wouldn’t have hurt us as bad.
When it comes to being hurt, I have learned to allow myself to feel. We get so busy trying to not feel hurt, that we don’t allow ourselves time to process. Acknowledge what hurt you, how it hurt you, and why. Sit with those feelings. Cry, yell, hit a punching bag, release those feelings, but before it all, pray. Now when you’re hurting its hard to find words to express everything you feel, but prayer involves your heart and spirit, not just your words. I have spent many nights with the prayer, Lord, I don’t know what to say, and He has always showed up and gave me comfort and strength to press on. When you reconcile with the pain you have been through, the road to healing is much clearer, because you know the area to start at.
With being afraid… I’ll say something my friend Nichole said one day at church, “Do it afraid”. Fear can be so constricting and it can hinder you from reaching your potential and purpose. In the Bible, God constantly had to remind people to not be afraid, and to be courageous. I’ve learned that having courage does not mean you are not afraid, it means you will not be stopped by your fear. There were many things I was afraid to do, and honestly there still are fears I’m working to conquer, but that’s just it, I have not stopped. Are you fearful of performing, messing up, starting again, trying again, loving again, or beginning something new? If you know that is what God is calling you to do, do it! No ifs, ands, or buts about it! The best way to conquer fear is doing the very thing you are afraid to do. People are waiting on you to be courageous, do it afraid!
With feeling beautiful… Ok ladies, come on, we all have been there. Well, I’m assuming I’m not alone when I say there are days I question what is looking back at me in the mirror! Seriously, it takes a lot of courage and strength to say to my cellulite, stretch marks, and rolls, “You are beautiful. I accept you for who you are. I may want you gone, but I celebrate you while you are here”. Child.…Strength!
One of my favorite memories with feeling beautiful was a moment in prayer. Follow me on this. I was in prayer and just sitting in awe of God, and all that He is, then I felt His presence like never before. I was captivated in the moment, and all I could say was, “I feel beautiful”.
Beauty was wholeness. Beauty was being comforted by a loving God that knew every part of my story. Beauty was spending time with the God of the universe, who decided He would come sit with me, and show me what beautiful truly meant and felt like. We are more than what we look like, we are what the Father says is worthy to be hand crafted and cared for. Build confidence in your beauty, knowing when God sees you, He sees completed perfection, because everything that God made, was good.
With feeling loved… One of the simple basic human needs that everyone has, is to be loved. When you feel loved, you feel worthy. Love makes you feel purposed and considered. When we walk around not feeling loved, man, the life we live is full of dim lighting. I don’t know you, and I don’t know your full story, but one thing I do know, is that God loves you. Did you not receive love from a parent, a partner, or a family member? Well, they missed out on the blessing that is called, you!
God loves you so much that He decided to give of His only Son, Jesus, to ensure you could experience a full relationship with Him. Do you understand how valuable you are? Don’t you dare walk around with your head down thinking no one loves you! Sure there were people who were supposed to show you what real love is, and they missed the mark. Learn from what they did, and you decide in your heart to love better, and allow love in again. Love is more than having someone to lay with at night, and far more than a pat on the back, and beyond a double tap on a post. Love is the knowledge that you matter to someone. If no one ever told you, I am telling you today, You Matter!
With being married… I love being married. I have been married for going on 12 years next month. Before my husband and I got married we used to stay up all night on the phone asking each other questions. Whenever we had a date night or a day to hang out, we asked each other every type of question we could think of. Why? We wanted to learn as much as we could about the other person.
In marriage you literally are asking two lives to join together and form a new life. We still ask each other questions and are learning more and more about one another. If you are facing challenges in your marriage, overcome them together. Make a joint decision to find the root of the issue/issues and carve out a plan to work together to make it to the other side of the problem. I have witnessed so many forget the For better or worse part of their vows. Marriage, just as life, goes through seasons. Today, figure out if you are enjoying the weather in the season you all are in, or if you all need a change in forecast. Learn your spouse, encourage them, believe in them, support them, laugh with them, pray with and for them, and show them the love they need in every season.
With being a mom… Whew mommas out there, I feel ya. I don’t even have to ask, but just know that I feel ya! Being a mom is one of life’s greatest gifts. God has entrusted you to carry new lives and generations in your womb. He has given you the responsibility to help shape the minds and life of future adults in our culture and society. You have also been given the challenge to not tell a 4 year old off! Ha!
Motherhood is this great gift that comes with lifelong badge earning opportunities. I have 3 boys, ages 6, 4, and 2. They make me laugh til I cry, and sometimes they just make me cry. My tears are not because of something they did, but because I do not take the seat of a mother lightly. I want to ensure that they become the men God has designed them to be. I realized I am their first experience of nurturing, love, biblical teachings, culture lessons, and life navigation. When they are grown they will make many decisions, and I want to help them know how to discern and choose the right ones. With all this responsibility I had to tell myself, “You will not be perfect”. Moms make mistakes. Moms have to say sorry. Moms sometimes have to take a moment of reflection and relaxation.
To all my moms out there I want to tell you to cherish every moment with your child. Let them make a mess sometimes. Go ahead see them jump off the couch. Watch them spill a whole cup of water. See them mimic you. Watch how they pose in pictures. See what makes them laugh. Watch the cues to the different emotions they experience. See it all and enjoy it. I was speaking with a sweet Grandmother one day about raising children and she told me the best advice she could give me was, “Give them good memories”. That stuck with me. Every now and then when I may get frustrated, when they have called my name 50 times, or I’m too tired to play tag, I say to myself: What do I want them to remember about this moment.
With having dreams… When I was a little girl I made a promise to myself. I promised myself that when I got older, I would do all the things I dreamed of doing as a kid. I didn’t want my big dreams to stay in my childhood. I told you all I was into hearing grown up conversations. There were so many times I would over hear adults talk about not living their childhood dreams because of life or bills. I determined that no matter what, I wanted to be able to say, As a kid I dreamed of doing….and I’m doing it!
Believe me, I know how up and down life can be. I understand your dream may take money that you don’t have, but faith is free darling! Believe not only in yourself, but in the God that put that dream in you in the first place. You have that dream for a reason. You may have a dream that people think is too big or too crazy. Well, get around new people. Get around people that will connect with your vision, and hold you accountable to see it come to pass. It can be tough to get people on board, if you first, don’t fully believe in it yourself. So, do a check in with you, are you the thing that’s standing in the way of your dreams? Believe me, there is no dream too big for God to do. Stop journaling your plans, and adding it to your vision board, and take an actual step and start making your dream a reality today!
With having faith… Ok you’ve made it to the last lesson! Look at you getting your positive reading on today. I am so proud of you. I have made it through so many devastating storms, and have overcome many tough challenges; and when asked how I did it, all I can say is Jesus. My faith in Jesus is my saving grace. I could not have made it to 30 without Jesus coming in and being a paramount part of my life.
I told you all in the beginning I have been on a journey to better mental health, and I give all glory and honor to God that I am in the headspace I am in now. I’ve been asked by non-Christians before how I maintain my faith in tough times. My answer changes from person to person and from year to year, because as time goes on, we face different faith battles.
I remember a moment a few years back when I experienced a trigger conversation. A conversation that causes a chain reaction of thoughts and or actions that stem from an old wound. After the conversation I had to go and pray, because I knew the road of thoughts that I would head down if I did not stop and pray. While in prayer, I started listing to God the things in my past that still troubled my mind, and how it basically sucked that I had to go through them. He gently replied to me, “I was there too”. He walked me through my past and told me how when I was going through, He was there with me. Do you think your heavenly Father finds joy in your hardships? He does not. He wants only good for you. We serve a God who is not emotionless, and who does understand our pain and seeks to deliver us and keep us so close to Him, that we find comfort through the rough times. I have faith because I know God can be trusted with my heart, my mind, my soul, and my life. When I don’t have the answers I run to the One who does. When I feel down, I know who will lift my head. In my 30 years of living, God has proven who He is to me, and I believe Him.
Before we get into today’s blog: Hubby called while I was typing so I paused during the process. When I came back to finish up, I contemplated posting. These writings kick down my every wall and show my most vulnerable places. Yet, if learning of my life lessons, makes someone’s life any better, any brighter, I’ll continue to share. Then it is no longer about me, but helping others, and that’s why I live. Ok on to the post……
One day I stood in the doorway of my closet speaking to God. I told Him how I hated depending on people, and how so many people had proven to me they were not dependable. He stopped me and shared with me that it was deeper than that. Over my life I’ve always struggled depending on people. I was the girl that disliked every time the teacher announced we had to do a group project. I knew I might get stuck with people that would not pull their weight. Everyone knew I would work hard, and if they slacked, I would work even harder to ensure a good grade. I struggle depending on others y’all. I could be bleeding and trying to army crawl to a hospital and would not call anyone to help, because to be let down would hurt me more than the physical pain. That day speaking with God I realized the pattern was not with depending on others, but more so no longer wanting to expect from others. When my expectations of others were not met, it became a form of rejection, and yo, I’d rather not feel rejected, so I chose to no longer depend. My logic-If I don’t expect, I won’t get hurt.
I went down the line of my life history pointing out every moment I depended on someone and expected from them, and was let down. I expected to be loved, to be protected, to feel secure, to be enough; and man did I carry the hurt of those rejections with me.
Sometimes I walk out my thoughts. I walk around the house just thinking and reflecting. You see, a major birthday is coming for me next year. All my life I wanted to be 30. Crazy I know lol! I was always an old soul and hearing adult conversations. One day I heard a conversation about those “light bulb” moments that happen in your 30s. I heard how new confidence comes. I heard how establishment comes. I heard how understanding comes. I heard how you allow your voice to be heard when you’re 30, and young me wanted to see the magical shift of my 30s. I thought, when I turn 30, I won’t feel broken anymore. When I turn 30, that light bulb will turn on and I’ll have the confidence I need and the mindset I’ve always wanted.
Who knew that magical 30 shift, would be what Holy Spirit would have happen to me in my late 20s. I began to seek God more and want more for my life. I decided to no longer be trapped by others words and actions. To no longer be trapped by the enemy. To never again be trapped by my own mind. Now let’s talk expectations.
I find that often what our struggle is with people, is also a struggle we have with God. I would treat God like man. I would struggle to depend on Him. I would not expect Him to do what He said He would do. People I expected to be one way, would prove to be another. Would God also?
I’ve learned when God says he is not man, He is not! You can always expect God to show up for you. You can depend on God being good always. You don’t have to wait til you’re older to trust Him fully. You don’t have to wait til you get what you want to trust Him. You don’t have to wait for the sky to crack to see He is the God who can be trusted. He is the God that is beyond all expectations. I mean this in the most respectful and righteous way: People suck sometimes! Ha! No matter how many people have hurt you, there are many people out there who will love you and support you, and even greater, a God who will make every hurt seem so small, because He is so big!
Today, make God big in your life. Seek Him and expect Him to show up. I’m a work in progress and still struggle with depending on others, but I’m learning to trust that no matter what, God is good, and it all works for my good. I lean and depend on God, because He has a proven track record. His credit score is through the roof! Expect great things. Expect great people to be in your life. Expect God to love and care for you like no other. Expect to have joy and peace. Your expectations will not go unnoticed, and will be met. So, what are you expecting? Would love to hear from you!
As I sit here listening to my Lisa McClendon Pandora Station, which y’all need to hop on and thank me later… I sit reflecting on the year. I would say the last about 3 years have been some of the toughest years in my adult life. I lost many family members that I wish I had more time with. I had women I called sister treat me like a stranger who stole from them. I had people I trusted with my love kick me while I was down. I spent most of all last year feeling like a single mom while my husband traveled for work every other week. The depression I thought I was done with decided to make a surprise visit and brought a plus one called anxiety with it. Let’s just say, with the amount of things that happened over the past few years, and even this year alone, I could have written an award winning drama series!
Over the past few weeks I’ve just been reflecting, searching, learning, and asking God every question. Who should I share this with? What was I supposed to learn? Where do I go from here? When did this issue start? Why did I go through that? How do I move forward? Y’all ya girl had questions and a note pad ready!
I began being more diligent in my reading of the Word. Not just quick reference reading, but slow reading; Putting myself in the stories of the Old Testament and seeking God for revelation. Let me tell you what I learned: Yielding. Taking a pause to reiterate to yourself that God is smarter than you 😳
I can’t tell you how many times I have to remind myself of that! I became so caught up and bound by all that I felt was happening “to me” not realizing it was happening “for me”. As a planner, I kept trying to come up with the perfect plans for life and success. I wanted to plan my way out of my pain. I wanted to make plans to ensure everything was gonna be ok. Then God said, “Would you rather live the life you’ve planned, or trust my plan?” Yielding.
God is the Master Planner. He knows our beginning to end. He is our Father who loves us and sees more in us than we can see ourselves. God has interrupted my plans before in life. When I planned on being happily single, He let my husband walk into my life. When I planned on adopting because I thought I could not have children, He blessed my womb three times. When I planned on giving up, He gave me reasons to live. God constantly changes “my plans” and not once did it turn out bad.
I’m at the point in my life where all I want is to please God. If He isn’t in it, I don’t want it. If He calls me to it, I know I can do it. So how do we please God? Faith, without faith it is impossible to please God. How do we show faith? Yielding, allowing God’s plan to become yours. I’m gonna tell you straight up, I have not a one clue all that God has planned for my life, but I look at the future with a smile because I know one day I’ll see my why.
Our life is not in snapshots and short videos. I started taking social media breaks years ago after I noticed how much time I spent on my phone. The first few days I got to see just how much I used my phone, because I would be out with my family and would be reaching to take a pic of every moment. I would say, “Oh this is a post”. We went for a walk downtown and I wanted to show the “world” the beautiful view, then it hit me: Why don’t I just enjoy this view with my family?
I began my Instagram and Twitter this year saying I had a love hate relationship with Social Media. I love that it is a way to connect with family, friends, and new people. You can share the love of God with millions across the globe. You can see news, fashion, comedy, and simply cute chunky babies with little curly fros that will make your day better! I hate, or better yet, strongly dislike, because I come from a generation where saying, “I hate” is a bad word/phrase. I strongly dislike the way Social Media allows people to say horrible things about others in mass numbers. I strongly dislike the way it makes so many women and men fall into the comparison trap. I strongly dislike how so many people are willing to put their life at risk for the ultimate selfie. I strongly dislike how Social Media keeps children from actually being social! Most of all, I strongly dislike what Social Media does to many peoples mental health state.
Over the last few years I have seen so many stories of children committing suicide because of online bullying. I have watched so many YouTube videos of people having to quit their online presence because they entered into a state of anxiety and depression. I have also seen so many people be one way online, and another way in real life. This online social life has become full of social eyes, believing social lies! See what I did there…I get deep sometimes…ha
Now you know I’m all about raw honesty, so here is my raw moment: I have to constantly be mindful of myself, because I do deal with depression and anxiety, and cannot afford to allow myself to fall into the comparison trap; and lately I have started tipping around that trap. In my life I have dealt with the need of acceptance. When you’ve been so different for so long, you want people to accept your difference and love it. I’ve always been Shervyse, she’s the only person I know how to be, and the only person I wanna be, and I will not change who I am, and how I am, to fit a “like everybody else mold”. So when you have a person who is different, and not willing to conform; who desires to be in an industry full of conformers....girlllll….issuuueeessss!
Ok, that’s enough vulnerability for today! I got stuff to do and I can’t sit here and have a therapy breakthrough….just yet.
A few days ago I found myself getting ready. Sounds normal right? Y’all, I was getting ready for a selfie! Not getting ready for my day, not getting ready for some outing, just thinking about how I wanted to look for my selfie! Holy Spirit straight snatched me by my under an inch long curls and told me to pause. He reminded me that what I was doing, was exactly what I told myself I would not do. You see, I’ve done social media before, I’ve had a site, I had multiple socials, and I’ve had some success in being reposted and all that jazz. I hit a turning point in this social life, that many influencers hit, I had to step back and remember why I started.
It’s so easy to get caught up in attention. I’m such a girl of science and I know how to hit trends, market, brand, and be noticed. I know what posts will return a good viewing. I know what will gain me more followers, and you know what, I refuse to do it!
I came back to social media, because I wanted to fulfill my childhood dream of helping people. I love encouraging people and making them smile and laugh. I know that by being online I can reach more people than I can reach on foot (Or other modern transportation lol). I also saw how much negativity is online and wanted to be that authentic, positive light in someone’s life who needed it. I found myself focused on getting the numbers up, and I have to turn back to why I began!
You know the funny thing? When I started my social presence back up, it took me forever to find a recent picture of myself. When you’re not on social media, you don’t take selfies! Anywho, so where do I go from here?
I will focus on spreading love, light, laughter, and most importantly, The Lord! I’m gonna share with the world this love I have found in Jesus, that is incomparable. You see, for a girl who constantly wanted to feel accepted, I am accepted by God. I didn’t have to do anything. I was just me, and I just came to Jesus. I told y’all I’m a girl of science. I told God, prove to me I can trust you, and I will. He has proven who He is to me, my whole life, and I still trust Him.
If you find yourself comparing who you are, how you are, how you live, and the relationships you have to those online, just stop! I tell myself daily, what God has for me, is for me. I want you to know that to be true. Know that what God has for you, is for you, and is coming to you! Whether being an online influencer is your job, or you have a company that needs online views, or you're simply someone who enjoys sharing pics and videos, never compare; and always stay true to you, because the right people will come, at the right time! You’re freakin amazing, and walk tall knowing that!