The pressure of perfection seriously robs you of your peace. Now I know that sounds so deep and so good, but I learned that from a Pastor Steven Furtick sermon a few weeks back! Here’s the thing, human perfection is non existent; wishful thinking. We’ve all heard about striving for perfection, but honestly, if perfection is your goal, you’ll never meet it, and if you spend your life seeking to get it, you will gain a friend named misery. Before I make an all over the place post, let me just start at what is prompting today’s blog.
Last night I was in the bathroom getting ready to wrap my hair. I know its like an inch long, but you gotta protect your strands ladies no matter how few you have or their length! I was doing my nightly routine and rubbing oil onto my skin and getting ready to moisturize my face. The whole time I had so many thoughts going through my head and when I looked up to rub my face I just stopped. I felt tears coming and I refused to let them fall, because I had already had some cry moments earlier in the week, and it was time for bed. I then gave in and let them fall.
As I began to talk to God, because at this point I was done with entertaining all my random thoughts. I was trying to tell God how I felt, and I could not put it into words. I then saw my reflection, and I said, “Lord, I’m worn”.
Y’all this type of post is not my norm, this is usually a personal journal entry, but I’m done with letting my past hurts keep me from being able to be vulnerable with people. I’ve said before this year, I’m the type of person that shares difficulty after I’ve conquered it, not while I’m going through it. This time, I’m sharing my difficulty with you, to help us both.
I believe we all face those moments in life where on one side the blessings are rolling in, and on the other side we are straight up struggling. I felt worn because of how I looked and how I felt. Its one thing to feel down, but for me to look down, I was like dang girl get it together! How you gonna be fresh out the shower and look a hot mess! Ha!
I’m gonna share a raw moment with you all, let you into my current life scene: There are some amazing things going on in our life, and even greater on the way. I am busy. Not the good busy. The trying to do everything and be everything busy, and not getting what I want done, done. It’s a work in progress for me to not take on the stress of others, and some of my family and friends need to seriously get slapped into victory right now. I cry out to God on the behalf of so many people because I see their pain, and feel it, and when you love like I do, it wears on you. I felt worn because although there is good happening, the things that are so hard pressed on my heart I’m still fighting for, and when you’ve been fighting for something for so long, you get worn out!
Now, I’m supposed to be the smile and light chick, and y’all this chick needs some exhale time. I just had to come do a check in to show y’all life is not always sprinkles and rainbows. Lately I have been so irritated with the push for perfection in our society. There is a pressure to always be on point and to have the latest and greatest, but I’m telling you, if you don’t have a personal call on Jesus anytime relationship, those worn moments can be dangerous. I have much on my plate in my personal life, but God! I’m not perfect, and at the moment I’m not perky, heck my hair is still in a headwrap; but you know what? Even though I feel like I’ve been taking some punches, I know God is right here with me, encouraging me to fight on. My swings may be slow right now, but I’m still swinging; and my right jab can knock a dude back! Love y’all, we got this!